Fast is relative, too?

What a good weekend!

I haven't written a 'race report' in a while, because I feel like so many are better at it than I am, but I really want to write one about my experiences at the Hot Chocolate 10K in Asheville yesterday. However, in true Emily fashion, I'm going to pull in some other details and also share some lessons I learned from this race and my weekend with my fellow Charlotte Running Club board members.

The weekend started at 5PM Friday afternoon, when Scott picked me up at my house and we hit the road for Asheville. It was an uneventful drive and Scott and I had a good time talking about music on the way up there. I haven't shown my music nerdiness in a while and it was really fun. We arrived at the house just after 7, where we met up with Allen. Allen gave us the tour and Scott, Allen and I ran around the house like we were on The Real World. The first thing we noticed when we walked in the door was a fantastic smell wafting through the air. The owner of the house had MADE US BREAD in the house's breadmaker. Talk about hospitality! The house was just awesome. It had already been pre-decided that the master bedroom would be given to Caitlin and me, because apparently 'dudes don't sleep together.' No complaints here, although we did get some laughs at the sex marks on the wall behind the wrought-iron bed that she and I shared for the weekend. (They were already there, guys, nothing to see here.)

Scott, Allen and I met up with Jay, Caitlin, Matt, Aaron, and Ben for dinner at Asheville Brewing Company. Billy got a bit of a late start and would be meeting us later at the house. The pizza was great and so was the beer (we split a few pitchers of Boogie Down Brown...yum). There was also a comfortable feeling of comaraderie in the air as we joked and talked about movies. No need to get down to business just yet. I knew it was going to be a fun weekend. I commented to Scott and Allen that I appreciated that I kind of felt like one of the guys for the weekend, and it was confirmed that I'm 'cool.' (Whew.)

I showered and crashed after we got back to the house and I slept great. I woke up the next morning, had a bagel with peanut butter and honey, and we caravaned to the race. Scott, Allen and I listened to gangsta rap on the way and confirmed that we are the three whitest people in America. It was COLD outside (somewhere around 22 degrees) but there wasn't much wind and it was a beautiful day. I had opted for capri tights, long sleeve shirt, CRC singlet, two pairs of gloves and a headwarmer and knew that although I was cold at first, this was about right for the temperature.* Also, was wearing my Ronins for the first time in a race. I realized how focused I was on this race as I sat in the backseat of the shuttle on the way to the race. (I was thinking, 'Ahhh ha, hush that fush, everybody move to the back of the bus.') I had ended up telling a few people that I wanted to run sub-49, even though I knew that would be a fairly big PR for me and pretty close to my current 5K PR pace.

*I would be remiss if I didn't mention somewhere that Matt was wearing a short bathrobe that was provided by the house in lieu of warmups.

Packet and chip pickup and bag check went smoothly and I went back outside to warm up. Sadly, warming up before a race is something pretty new to me, too. I had run into Lauren, Boriana, and Sarah at chip pick-up and warmed up for a bit with Lauren and Sarah. We decided to run down and back up (very slowly) the hill that made up the last quarter mile or so of the race. Um...crap. That hill kind of SUCKED. I got pretty nervous and thought about re-adjusting my goal a bit but had heard the rest of the course was pretty flat so I figured surely I'd be able to handle it. I continued a bit of the warm-up by myself and then ran into Allen and he and I trotted around the parking lot a bit.

After drinking a little water and chatting a bit more with the Charlotte crew, it was time to line up. I did something else a little differently at this race and actually lined up fairly near the front. It's time to get some confidence and as it turned out, I started right where I should have been. There were 1000 runners registered, so it was a decent-sized race.

And we're off! First mile was a steep downhill, so I just relaxed into it, opened my stride and let gravity do the work. I knew this was going to be a fast mile but my strategy for the race was to just run by effort level and try not to stress too much about time. After the first mile marker, I was running in a pack with about 3-4 guys. This was weird for me. It felt strange to look ahead of me and only see 1-2 women and lots of guys. I settled in to a pace around 7:45 and realized that while this didn't feel 'easy', it felt better than I'd ever felt running that pace and it certainly felt sustainable for a good amount of time. This gave me some confidence.

The course continued along this one road for a while and around 2.75 miles into the race, the leaders appeared going in the other direction. The two guys in first and second were just hauling ass, it was ridiculous. Aaron appeared shortly after those two guys and it was really cool to see him and be able to yell, 'Go Aaron!' Billy was a few spots back after that, then Matt, then I saw Boriana and Allen as we turned into a park for part of the course. I got so pumped seeing everyone that I picked up the pace a little here and glanced at my watch to see 23:19 when I hit 3.1 miles. Technically, a 5K PR but I knew I wouldn't run as fast on the second half of the course since we didn't have any more big downhills and in fact, that monster hill loomed ahead. It also felt weird to leave the park and hit the turnaround and realize...dang, there are a LOT more people behind me in this race than there are in front of me. Confidence boost #2.

I would say around mile four is where a 10K starts to become a bit of a mental game. Or, it can. A few little doubs began to creep into my head around this point but I'm really proud of myself that I was able to tell myself that my breathing felt fine, my legs had plenty of strength to keep up the pace, and to just zone out and run. I have a bad habit of looking at my watch during races and freaking out a little, but I didn't even look at my watch. I just looked forward, focused on making my stride as efficient as possible...and ran. I could tell I was 'leading' a little pack as I could hear footsteps and see shadows behind me, but no one from our little group passed me. (Although, one little guy that looked like a leprachaun, complete with a beard, did. I bet women run slower because we can't grow beards. Jealous.) I still kept it around 7:40-7:50 pace.

There was one chick that I could see ahead of me wearing a pink jacket and I made it my goal after we passed mile marker 5 to catch her. I started to get nervous about the hill but still just tried to stay in the moment. I did eventually catch the chick in the pink and passed her.

But then....crap. There's a little hill BEFORE the big hill. I wasn't feeling good and could feel my heart rate shoot up. I got scared and nauseous and slowed way down until a guy passed me and patted me encouragingly on the shoulder. This reminded me of how much I love races and how supportive complete strangers can be so I slogged forward. It was around this point that Aaron, Jay and Billy were running down the hill and cheered for me. A quick glance at my watch revealed that I should easily come in under 49 minutes but that I was going to HAVE to suck it up and run to the top of this hill if it was going to happen. Almost there...but then I started to get a little nauseous again and for a split second thought, 'Eff my goal.' Luckily, that didn't last long because Caitlin, Boriana, Allen, Matt and Ben were there to encourage me and I could see the finish line by this point. It wasn't pretty, but I did make it across the finish line at clock time 48:46. Had to bend over and put my hands on my knees and let the nausea pass for a second, then met up with everyone to cheer in Lauren (who ran it in with Sarah and also got a new PR!!) and Scott (who I don't think was thrilled with his time but was happy to have beaten the guy dressed as a penguin).

Pic stolen from Allen...I look rough, but my shoes look cool.

Of course I got some hot chocolate after the race, then it was grub time at Sunny Point and then back to the house to get to business. I'm not going to bore everyone with details but I think we were all pleased with how well the board meeting went. We were able to agree on our mission, come up with our social calendar for the year, and get some preliminary budgeting done. We also had some fun. I'm really glad I got to know everyone a little better this weekend. If one thing can be said about the Charlotte Running Club board, we are definitely all passionate about running and want to promote that.

After business was done, it was time to listen to the Beastie Boys and slide around in our socks. (Ok, that was just Aaron and Matt.) Aaron, Caitlin, Jay and I went to the grocery store for pasta and some of the guys peeled off to go to Nachos and Beer (yep, that's the real name of that place) for nachos and beer and to buy Billy Shue birthday tequila shots. They intelligently stopped after 4 shots and Billy Shue was the man for the rest of the night, inspiring drinking games even.*

*Side note: There were so many good quotes from this weekend that were OH SO INAPPROPRIATE and cannot be shared here. But rest assured, they were funny. I also wish we would have kept a 'That's What She Said' count for the weekend and would like to note that I contributed a couple of the better ones.

This is getting long, so I'm gonna wrap it up with a quick lesson I learned. After discussing how I felt during the race with some of the more elite runners, I realized that they go through the same thoughts I do during a race. And that even when they're happy with their time and obviously know that they're fast, they still finish races wanting more and not being 100% satisfied. I also realized that fast and slow truly ARE relative terms. My time for the race ended up officially being 48:41 and was good enough for 6/84 in my age group and 129/825 finishers. So, for all intents and purposes, I don't think it's conceited of me to say that I ran a 'fast' race. So, the speedwork is already paying off. Maybe I should change the name of this blog...although, maybe not, since I still can't seem to shake the 'I'm slow' feeling. However, I've realized that I had fun during that race and I'm becoming a lot stronger mentally during shorter races and that while half of Charlotte seems to be going distance crazy, I'm not. I think speed can really become a strength of mine and also help me in the future if I do choose to race further distances again. I'm really excited about this year, both as a runner and as a member of the board of Charlotte Running Club.

Lessons From a Kindergartner

One thing (among many) that I love about my job is that my clients typically teach me as much as I teach them. Today was no exception. I do a lot of art activities with my really young kids because it really is a major form of expression for them, not to mention the fact that you just can't sit down with little kids and start talking about deep subjects. Anyone who has even taken Psych 101 should know Piaget's developmental theory that children don't develop abstract thinking until they're in adolescence, sometimes late adolescence. There...do you guys like how I just justified my use of crayons on a daily basis by using my educational prowess?

So, today I was elbows deep in art supplies with one of my regular clients, a 6 year old who lost her father last year to cancer, and I offhandedly made the comment that I felt like there were really a lot of shades of brown crayons. (We were trying to find the perfect shade of green at the time.) My client stopped what she was doing, looked up at me, and said, "Well, if you feel it, then that's how it is." WHOA. That's pretty damn profound. I actually had to stop and sit back with that one for a minute while she found the crayon she wanted and continued coloring. Her statement got me thinking back to grad school, when one of my professors said that a person's perception IS reality to them, whether or not others would consider it to be so. It's usually pointless to try to argue logic in that situation and we can even push people away if we try to do so. I don't mind sharing (nor do I think he would mind me sharing) that my Dad has been dealing with some anxiety lately. Most of the things he identifies as anxiety triggers would be brushed aside by many people as ridiculous. But to him they're real. Because he feels it.

This is a pretty important lesson for most of us, I think. I can personally admit that I've put out some negative energy in my life. I can be judgmental at times. I've been guilty of gossiping. I'm not beating myself up, just stating behaviors that most of us are guilty of at some point and time. But, imagine if everyone could take a lesson from a 6 year old and just say...'It sounds like you're feeling (insert negative emotion). I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm here for you. How can I help?'...instead of judging someone for how they feel. I think most of us just want to be understood in some way.

Ok, so it seems I'm feeling a little Pollyanna today. Well, I am. After a rough patch, things are kind of turning around for me. Work stress has settled and I kind of have a crush on my job...sure, I'd love to make more money but I really love what I do and I adore my coworkers, supervisor and boss. I have never worked somewhere where I was this supported. Running is also going GREAT. I've started off the new year adding a weekly track workout to my schedule and I couldn't be happier about it. I've found the right people to train with...they're dedicated and they push me. I'm scared to set too many goals just yet, but I know my hard work is going to pay off at some races this year. I'm also just genuinely having fun right now....which is good for me, since I tend to struggle with the taking care of myself/having fun balance. I think I've been able to take some life experiences and turn them into learning experiences and I'm just pretty happy with how things are going right now overall.

Wonder what I'll learn tomorrow!

Tourists

I've had some conversations and seen some posts about 'the tourists' at the gym, or the hordes of people that flock to the gym ripe with resolutions of getting in shape for the new year. It becomes next to impossible to find a parking spot and one has to arrive at least 30 minutes prior to any spin class in order to get a bike. Sure, it's a bit of a pain, but truly, the 'tourists' don't really bother me. First of all, I'd honestly feel like an asshole complaining about someone doing something to better themselves, even if it doesn't last past March. Also, if you consider yourself enough of a workoutaholic where you think it's ok to refer to someone else as a 'tourist', you can probably deal with a little bit of inconvenience in order to work out. We've all woken up at 5 AM for workouts, ran in the rain, ran in the snow, ran when it's hot as hell, is it really that big of a deal to have to get to the gym a little earlier? Probably not. Also, somewhat selfishly, this time of year probably means some people there in worse shape than I am and then I can OWN my spin and Pilates classes like a champ.

I guess I'm taking this on as an issue because I think about how I've felt at times being referred to as a 'slower' runner. So, I guess to some people, I'm a 'tourist' at running, comparatively. I know enough not to stand near the front at a race, because, well, that would just be stupid and I would consider it well-deserved if I did that and got trampled. But, it got me thinking...what is that magical barrier that determines whether you're 'fast' or not? I've set a goal for myself of running under 22 minutes this year in the 5K distance. I feel like I would consider that fast. And I think I can do it (although, I've got a LOT of work to and have to actually go sub-23 first). But, in the meantime, I hope no one calls me a tourist.