After my atrocious performance at the Shamrock 4 Miler, I wanted revenge on South Charlotte. I had considered racing the Racefest 10K on the 16th, but after looking at results from the last two years, the Bulldog 5K seemed pretty appealing to me. I decided I'd wait and see how I felt the week leading up to it. Had a great workout with Anne Marie and Christi last Tuesday and threw down a confidence-building 12x400 w/200m recovery workout then felt good running easy Wednesday and Thursday so I decided to go for it.
I had seen Lauren T.'s name on the registered participant list and figured she had a decent shot at winning so I was happy when she emailed me and asked about running with me and using it as a workout for her. So, I felt confident going into this race. That was one thing I did right. One of my goals for this year is just to learn how to race better. I need to learn to push through when it's difficult. I want to learn more about my limits. But all of this is going to require actually believing I can race well and not being scared to throw it out there.
Decided to go with the new red CRC singlet and the purple bandanna for the race. Got to the church/school parking lot a tad before 7:30am and warmed up by myself for about a mile and a half before changing into my singlet and flats and heading up to the race start. Saw John Chambers and Brian and Kent on my way and said hello and recognized Brad Popple from the relay, so it appeared there would be some competition on the guy's side. I wasn't so sure about the women's side since I didn't recognize anyone. Met up with Lauren and Siobhan (yay for Siobhan deciding to run it, too!) and we stood around and chatted until it was time to get in place.
Overall, this was a well-run race...I especially appreciated the D-tag chip. The only slightly negative aspect (and I shouldn't even complain since clearly there were people way faster than me there) was that there wasn't a clear 'start line' and there were lots of very excited kiddos lining up. Clearly, I like kids since I spend 40 hours a week working with them and the last thing I wanted to do was trip over a small child at the beginning of a race. Lauren and I squeezed our way up front and I noticed a couple of girls beside me that looked like they were probably serious runners. (Also, twins?) There was a speech about the Make A Wish Foundation and a bullhorn and then we were off!
Lauren had already agree to push me in a nice way, but I definitely did get caught up in the adrenaline at first. Several kiddos took off at a full sprint and we tried to keep it relaxed, knowing we'd pass them pretty soon. The first mile felt really great (yes, I know...I hadn't done anything yet, it was supposed to feel really great) and I was surprised when both my watch and Lauren's beeped off 6:40. 6:40 is the fastest mile I've ever run in a race and it felt good?! Weird....maybe this could be a good race after all.
I continued to feel pretty good and the second mile had lots of turns but was pretty uneventful. Lauren and I finally passed this one little girl who had been chugging away for a while. I was super impressed with her! We passed a few guys that sounded like they were really struggling and I still felt pretty ok. Mile 2: 6:53.
This next part is where I need some work: I got scared. A little fatigue sank in and while it wasn't a HUGE incline to start the third mile, it was enough where I freaked out a little. I've crashed and burned in races before and I just didn't want it to happen so I instinctively slowed a little. Lauren was great and kept offering encouragement and once we turned on Rea Rd. I felt a bit better and picked the pace back up a bit.
We passed the Meat House (ha) and the fatigue was really settling in. I was pretty ready to be done and knew I was slowing down a little. We made the turn to head back to the parking lot and my third mile split was 7:24. Ok...a few words about that. I mentioned that I've blown up before in races. I still feel like I blew up a little in this one, but it wasn't on the same level as what I've done in the past. I'm not saying it was ok or that I'm satisfied with this last mile, but I can consider it minor progress that I did find a little fight in me. I didn't die, my legs didn't give out, I didn't vomit....and even if I had, it wouldn't have been the end of the world. I know I can push harder next time.
We hit the parking lot and I threw together what I had left for a kick. My Garmin measured the last bit as .14 miles and I ran it at 6:36 pace to finish in 21:52. My Garmin measured me at average pace of 6:59 but according to official race results, I was at 7:01 pace. The elusive sub-7 race still didn't happen. (I say that like I've been chasing this goal forever...obviously I haven't, but I know I can do it and now I want it, dammit.)
On the plus side, I was 6th overall female, 34th overall in the whole race, but ended up 2nd in my age group and got my first ever award in a race! Lauren, who selflessly stuck with me the whole way, deservedly kicked it in for 1st in our age group and Siobhan wasn't far behind us for 3rd! Go us!
I did feel pretty spent immediately after the race but had to laugh at John Chambers saying, 'What are you doing here already?' at the finish line. 5Ks never cease to amaze me...death feels imminent immediately following and then a minute later, you're fine. Lauren, Siobhan and I checked out the results, saw that we'd swept our AG and went for a short cool-down. Chatted with a few others post-race (including Alana and her Mom, who had volunteered at the race) and got my award, a medal and $20 worth of gift cards to Omega. Woo!
Ok, so that was the race. Overall, I give myself a B+, but I did learn a few lessons. One, I look at my watch too much. Looking at my watch to check the distance isn't going to make the finish line appear any sooner. Two...I need to do a better job of sucking it up when I get close to the finish. Yes, it hurts, but I can get through it. Three...to hit the goal mentioned previously, I think I need to run some longer intervals and/or tempo runs. I like running 800s and 400s and they've been helpful but I need to learn to run a mile when I'm tired.
Alright, so now, why is running weird? Well...running has a way of making you feel both on top of the world and yet not good enough at the same time. Back in February, I was absolutely ecstatic about how I ran at Cupid's Cup. But on Saturday, running a time a mere 5 seconds slower (and one could argue that Cupid's Cup is a short course and an easy course) I felt sort of...meh. I wasn't disappointed, but I wasn't overjoyed, either. I just felt...like I did ok. It's like...the faster you run, the slower you think you are and the better you want to be. It just makes you want more. I wonder if I'll ever be satisfied...probably not. I think most serious runners I know have an occasional race they're happy with but the majority of races are just works-in-progress. I'm sure I'll peak somewhere, but I know I have some improvement left. I'm hoping I can find a balance between pushing myself and striving to be my best but not being too hard on myself and allowing myself to be proud of my accomplishments. Isn't that what hard work is about? What's the point if you can't ever just...enjoy it?
Right?
