Yep, I'm writing a race report from the Shamrock 4 Miler. Not because I think that anyone would care to read it, necessarily, but maybe it can help me reflect on what I did wrong.
All things considered, I ended up with what I would consider a respectable time. A good time...not a great one. A year ago, I would have been thrilled to run a 30:57 for a 4 mile race (and it was, in fact, exactly a 2 minute PR from July's RFYL 4 Miler), but now I know that I could have and should have done better.
So, why didn't I?
Don't worry...this isn't going to be some long laundry list of excuses. I didn't run well because I just couldn't seem to hold it together mentally but there were some things that factored into that. I didn't feel very confident the week leading up to the race. The Sunday before the race, I'd run 12 miles that morning, 4 miles late that afternoon for the CRC St. Paddy's run, and then 5 miles super early the next morning. On the 5 miler, my legs felt tireder than they had felt in a really long time, and I woke up Tuesday morning feeling pretty sore. I felt a little better Wednesday and eaked out a 6:33 mile at the track that night, thanks to Christine's help and encouragement, but cut the workout short. I was also having some stomach issues all week and cramped up on my runs on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Thursday I ended up running further than I'd intended and also realized that while I love the weather we had on Thursday, I don't love running in it. I slept like crap for most of the week, too, the time change really affecting me for some reason. Staying out late Thursday night and having a few beers may not have been the best idea, either.
Anyway, I'm starting to sound like I'm making excuses, so no more of that.
I had a really good dinner Friday night at Laura's and actually got a decent night's sleep but I woke up super nervous. I usually get nervous before races but more so than usual this time. One thing I did feel confident about was my race outfit, which included the new black CRC singlet and a purple bandanna to keep the sweat out of my eyes. I didn't even really feel like eating and only managed to choke down a dry English muffin.
I got to the Stonecrest shopping center around 7:30 and took a little jog around the parking lot to warm up before I grabbed my chip. Ran into Scott in the parking lot and also saw Jamaar and Christi and Matt. Saw Scott again and we did a little warm-up jog before I stopped at my car to change into flats and head up for the race. I lined up fairly close to the start line because I know Grand Prix points go by gun time rather than chip time and this may or may not have been a bad idea for me. I'm not sure...I think starting so close played a factor in me starting so fast, but then again I started close for Cupid's Cup and managed to start out just right. I was between Jinnie and Anthony at the start and knew that they'd both be at least a minute or two faster than what I was hoping to run (sub-29).
I know, I know. EVERYONE started too fast. Well, me too. I felt relaxed and truly felt like I was holding back but I think it was the nerves/adrenaline that got to me. I hit the first mile in 6:48. Now, I'm just going to put this out there. Yes, that was too fast. But I think had this been a 5K, I could have sucked it up. But, I got scared. Too scared. I tried to slow myself down closer to what my goal pace was and was pretty on target for mile 2.
And then I lost it. Mile 3 got to me. I gave up. And I learned something on that mile. I haven't learned yet how to race. I don't have the experience yet. I also need to do some hill workouts and not just track workouts. I need to learn to man up. One think I think that could help is for me to think of something tangible to think about when I feel rough during a race. Clearly just thinking about a goal time isn't enough to push me. I also realized that I'm scared to push myself to my limit. Because I'm not sure what would happen. I'm not sure if I'm afraid I'll puke, hyperventilate, lose control of my bodily functions, or just have my legs give out on me. Being perfectly honest, I doubt that any of those things would have happened if I could have done a better job of pushing through the rough spots, although I did feel fairly nauseous a couple of times.
By the time I hit mile 3, Anne Marie and Christi had passed me and trying to keep them in my sights helped a bit. Then I heard Scott come up behind me. I tried to just hang with him and was able to do so for a while, until we passed Ben, who snapped some pics and yelled at me not to let Scott beat me. Oh, ok, there's my competitive nature again. So, I surged, but it was too soon and I faded quickly. At that point, I just wanted the race to be over.
I realize from looking at the pics Ben posted that my form was terrible by the end. So, that's something...I need to focus on relaxing my shoulders when I'm tired. I carry too much tension up there. While running through the back of the shopping center to the finish, Aaron, Jay and Lauren ran by and I think it was Jay that yelled at me to pump my arms. I did...and that helped. So...another thing to work on. (So many things to think about to be a good runner....BRAIN HURTS!)
My mood did lift a bit after the race. I had a good time having a couple of beers (Thanks, RFYL!) and talking to a bunch of people after the race and then eating brunch at Le Peep (Thanks, Scott!). Met up with Kati and Jordan at Rock Bottom Brewery that afternoon to make fun of people and have a few more beers. Then we went to Rebecca's and jumped in the moon bounce (shouldn't have worn a dress...whooops) and stood in the driveway until after 11PM laughing and talking about everything under the sun (except it was really under the moon and a supermoon at that). It was cool for me to spend some time talking to Rebecca and Jordan about racing and realize that they usually feel some of the same things I feel during a race, they've just learned that they're strong enough to get through it. (Although we really didn't talk much about racing...and I really do want to give Rebecca a shout-out because she just seems to know what to say to make me feel better sometimes.)
I appreciate everyone who has given me encouragement and made me feel better about the race while still letting me know they know I can do better. I WILL do better. I'm learning that racing is about putting it together physically and mentally on race day and sometimes it comes together and sometimes it doesn't. I've learned that even some of the best runners I know aren't always consistent and always learn things from each race. And practicing helps...and changing up your workouts helps. And previewing the race course is a good idea. And I guess if I can still get 815 points toward the Grand Prix Series standings on an off day, it might not be a bad year.
I've made an impromptu change to my planned race schedule, partly because I think I am going to get sucked in to doing the mile race on the 23rd, partly because I don't think I want to do the Racefest 10K right now and partly because I want revenge on South Charlotte after Saturday. Ok...and partly because in looking at the results from last year, unless WAY more people show up, I should have a solid shot at an age group award, possibly an overall place.
So, look out Bulldog 5K, you've been served notice.
