I think I can say with confidence that something in me has shifted. Today was a big step in the right direction. Today reminded me of something else that I have going in my life that makes me happy: there are moments in my job that truly remind me that I've found my calling. Today was good...it wasn't anything monumental, just a reminder that building relationships is a strength of mine. I had four home visits and they all went well. It actually can be considered a minor victory that all four of them were home and opened the door, but they were actually all positive experiences, too. My heart especially melted when one of my clients, who is in kindergarten, told me he'd been looking out the window waiting for me to arrive when I got there. One of my visits involved completing an assessment on a new client, which is always exciting to me. The counselor-client relationship is something so different than any other relationship and a lot of the time, the initial assessment sets the tone for the entire process. The one today ended with the Dad telling me he was pleased and thought I would be a good fit for his daughter, which is especially satisfying since he's a self-pay client and will be paying in excess of $100 per session.
Whenever I work with a client to set a goal, I always like to ask the question, 'How will we know when...(that goal has been achieved)?' I think it's important to set measurable goals. As we identified goals at the end of today's assessment, it got me thinking about my own goals. I think I do a pretty good job of setting goals for myself, but I don't think I do always do a good job of making them concrete. As far as running goals so, I think I'd like to sit down sometime in the next few days and write out a tentative race schedule and make some plans. I'm too scattered without a plan and I'm craving some consistency right now.
Another goal I have right now is improving my self-confidence. How will I know when I'm making progress on this goal? This is the tough part...but here goes... I've realized that I'm one of the most indecisive people that I know. It's a miracle that I ever make a decision at all. Ever. Seriously, sometimes menus frighten me. Anyone that's facebook friends with me has probably noticed that I change my mind about my running goals weekly. I used to call my periods of indecision 'my little existential crises.' Part of this is just my personality, but part of it indicates a lack of self-confidence. I second-guess myself a lot. I also seek validation a lot. So, for me, an indication that I'm making progress in becoming more self-confident is that I don't have to seek anyone else's opinion when I make a decision. I can just make it and be ok with it. And also not worry if someone is going to judge me because of my decisions. If someone can't accept me for my flaws, then I probably shouldn't be friends with that person anyway.
I've sought a lot of opinions lately and gotten a lot of good advice and for that, I'm thankful. I've also probably been judged a lot lately, too and I've accepted that. There have also been some situations where I thought people were judging me and found out they actually weren't and I'm genuinely appreciative of that, too. I'm currently making some decisions that I feel good about and that's the most important thing. I just have to have faith that if I continue to consistently make choices that I know are positive for me, that good things will continue to happen. I hope so, anyway.
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