Yes, I know I haven't written ANYTHING in ages and I also know that I have nothing productive to say here. (Don't judge me.)

I'm in a weird funk today. I'm bummed out about a lot of things...I'm (still) bummed out about how much I sucked at MCM, I'm bummed out that Karin got hurt today in Philly, I'm bummed out about the injustices of the world, I'm bummed out I don't have more money, and I'm bummed out I can't fix everything for everyone all the time. (How's that for an irrational thought, Aaron Beck?)

Figured a trail run would break me out of the funk, since that usually makes me happy. Ran with Scott at Francis J. Beatty. I'd never run there before and I liked it and would definitely run there again. Unfortunately, Scott turned his ankle on a root and had to limp it in at the end. Bummed about that, too. Frick. (Am I just bad luck today?) Also, this dog was out there without a collar that appeared to belong to no one and and just kept running circles around Scott and I. No idea why this bothered me as much as it did. I actually like dogs. It just kept distracting me when I strangely wanted to feel focused today.

I think I'm also going to use this post to talk about how much I don't want to do another marathon for some time. I know people are going to try to pressure me into it. I've already had several people ask me why I don't want to. The simplest answer I can come up with is this: I don't like them. I'm glad I ran two this year and proved to myself that I can go from a Bojangle's-eating-at-least-once-a-week, partying-too-hard, smoker to what I would consider a moderately serious runner. Cool. I needed to know I could do that. But, guess what? No one says you have to run multiple marathons a year to be a runner. Running is definitely a huge part of my life now and that's not changing. But I really want to use this year to find out what I'm good at, and more importantly, what makes me happiest. Maybe it's trail running. Maybe it's busting my ass to get better at 5K's. (I actually think that might be what it is. Also, this is a hell of a lot cheaper.)

This entry is completely devoid of linear thought, so here goes. I have this confession to make. Occasionally I worry that people that can run fast will not want to be my friend if I never run any faster. Of course, then I tell myself that's silly. (Or, is it?)

Hmm, alright, clearly feeling kind of vulnerable today so I'm going to stop writing before I write something that I'm going to regret.